Dear Mr. Favre.....

My favorite team is going to sign Brett Favre in the coming days, or weeks, or months, or however long it takes that fucking asshole to milk the publicity machine to his satisfaction.It’s fitting that it would come this. For years and years, I have fucking hated Brett Favre with every fiber of my being. He is the single most self-promoting piece of shit who ever walked the Earth, the most phony human being this side of Alex Rodreguiez. Everything about Favre – from his style of play to his everyman image - is complete bullshit, and everything about the man is tiresome, to the point where bitching about him being tiresome has become even more tiresome. Not only am I sick of this dipshit, but I'm sick of being sick of him. I have always argued that pro athletes should play their sports as long as they want, because it's still a kickass job . So I don't want to take away his right to play football, even if it’s for the Vikings. What I do hate is the fact that this asshole NEVER WANTED TO FUCKING STOP PLAYING TO BEGIN WITH. He knew the second he rererereretired earlier this year that he'd try and get his release so he could play in here. This Bull-shit by Peter King that, "I don’t think even Brett Favre knows what Brett Favre is going to do" is the most insulting pile of shit I've ever heard. That fuck knows exactly what the fuck he's doing, and anyone who says otherwise probably spends all day licking radiators. Make no mistake, it won't be the final piece in some kind of championship puzzle. It'll be the nothing more than the final nail in the coffin for Brad Childress. It'll be the last act of a desperate coach who has spent the past three years wasting a talented roster with unimaginative schemes and the complete failure to produce anything of note at the quarterback position. This asshole had three fucking years to groom a QB for this team. Three. A fucking lifetime in NFL years.Instead, he insisted he could develop Tarvaris Jackson, who can play the position somewhat decently only when there is nothing important to play for. The Vikings could have made any number of moves in recent years to give Jackson competition, or to outright replace him. They had a chance to trade for Matt Schaub. They had a chance to draft some QBs. They could have traded for Jay Cutler. Or signed Jeff George. Instead, they did nothing until trading for Sage Rosenfels.And now, only now, after time and again fucking up the QB situation, does Childress feel compelled to upgrade the position. And how is he going about it? By acquiring an erratic 40-year-old pill popping, drunk, with half a bicep. Hey shitbox, you already have an erratic journeyman on the roster. Do we really need fucking more?I’ve heard arguments in the media that Favre will at least make the coming season more interesting. Well, you know what? I don’t want my team to be fucking interesting. I want my team to fucking WIN. I've seen this team do the "interesting" things before, with Hershall Walker and Randy Moss and all that shit. But ultimately, it ended up going to shit. Interesting teams don't win it all in the NFL anymore. If you want to win a Super Bowl, you’re better off being the most boring fucking team alive. The Steelers. They change coaches once every two decades. They never sign big name free agents, They don’t do any of that shit. They keep things running smoothly, and then they go win titles. And they don't sign players I fucking despise. And the biggest dagger of all in this whole shitshow. That the hatred I have of Brett Favre is part of who I am. It’s ingrained in me. When I die, my body will turn into nothing but ash. But, even then, I assure you I’ll still find a way to fucking hate Brett Favre. And now, as a final, personal FUCK YOU to every Viking fan like me, that fuckface is now going to make it so I have to root for him. I actually have to cheer when he goes and does something good. And that makes me hate his fucking guts all the more. Because now I’m supposed to buy into all his bullshit. That fucking fuck.Well, fine. If that’s the way it has to be, then so be it. I’ll root for you in a Vikings uniform, Favre. But just know that I will hate every goddamn minute of it. Just know that I will fucking hunt you down with your goddamn red necked bow if you end up fucking us in the end. Just know that your new head coach is an incompetent, dumb fuck who couldn't place an order at a McDonalds. Just know all that before you come here. You fucking low life piece of shit. Oh, I’ll cheer you on, you fucking Hollywood redneck hillbilly. I’ll pull for you every step of the way, Mr. Wrangler... you absolute disgrace. I’ll cherish your three good games a year that make Madden flood his pants.I’ll do all that that. But I’ll never stop hating you.